Unspoken

I guess there was too little time and too little energy to explain. But some things are still going on my mind until this very minute. I had so much to say, honestly. But I didn't know why I can't just say it to you right away. I just smiled; that was not enough, but appropriate.

If you wanna know, just know that I loved you, even when I made that decision. That painful, but relieving in its own way, decision. That was one new thing I learned, to leave someone you still love because you don't wanna make any more damage to each other. All this time I thought I had enough love, strength, and patience to be with you, but I realized  that I was wrong. I was fragile and I refused to admit it. Now that I have tried to forgive myself, I don't have to make up my own flaws. I can't love you the right way, the way you deserve. You need someone better, and so do I. We don't have to face any more disappointment.

I know that you made mistakes too, you upset me when you said I didn't have enough patience. I hated those words because I gave all my effort to be a patient and strong woman for you only to hear that I wasn't enough, never enough. But. yes, I realized my weakness, I know you were right, even though  I didn't like the way you said it to me; it's like you never saw how I fought for you.

So, now, it's all crystal clear. I forced myself too hard in our relationship. I fell too hard and now I've lost all my strength. I might be selfish to leave you, but if I stayed, I would just hurt you as I'm too tired to love.

You have so many potentials and chances to grow. But unfortunately, not with me. Or, maybe, it's a fortune not to grow them with me. I thinks some space and time to rebuild ourselves again is the cure we need most now.

I never know whether I've made the right decision or not. Only time will tell. So, as we are heading on to our future and let the time slowly answer my -and maybe yours also- questions, we just need to grow, grow through grief and pain. Just grow and bloom. Let the best form of love come to us. And if one day we meet again, I hope to see you as a great man, even greater than you are right now.

Just...let go. Let go and be free.